Procrastination: My Co-dependent Trigger to Eat

We all know that everyone procrastinates from time to time. However, in a recent article in “Psychology Today”, I read that nearly 20 percent of us are true procrastinators; which mean we consistently avoid difficult tasks and deliberately look for distractions, such as eating food, preparing food, or planning our next meal, as a diversion to bigger issues.

Psychologists suggest that procrastination most likely reflects our difficulty in regulating emotions. Like many procrastinators I often say I perform better under pressure, but according to Psychology Today, that's just one of many lies that I tell myself. As I travel this journey toward my goal for losing 107 pounds, I find my awareness of how I “do Jack” reveals even deeper issues for me to address. When I read the article on Procrastination, I heard Spirit whispering to me: “That’s you.”

I know that this is true for me and now I’m exploring why. Here’s what I’ve discovered.

There is an adrenaline rush for accomplishing something at the last minute. When I was in High School, I remember how good it felt to write a 500 word essay 30 minutes before class - even when I had an entire week to do the assignment. I knew I could do it. I just couldn’t seem to get started. I can remember getting distracted by watching a movie on TV, talking to my best friend, and yes, eating. I’d go to bed each night feeling guilty about my procrastination for not doing my homework. I would comfort myself by eating a salty snack and hide out in my bedroom engrossed in sedentary activities such as watching even more TV, or lying in bed reading. I would have six days of anxiety and one day of an adrenaline high. Which was more significant?

When I would awaken at 6:00 a.m. and write the essay in one draft, I would celebrate by having three pieces of toast lathered in butter instead of two. However I would also have eaten a bag of chips the night before staring at the TV to comfort myself for being lazy and not doing my homework - hiding from my friends and family. I frequently received an “A” or a “B” for my essay, so it wasn’t about my “ability” – it was about my behavior. This behavior has played out over my entire life.

What began in High School still is a pattern I execute today. I still procrastinate doing, what I know needs to be done and what I’m quite capable of doing, until the very last minute. I still eat to comfort the anxiety and celebrate the victory. Today, when I’m acknowledged for pulling something great off at the last minute, it feels good to hear the praise; but I also hear myself saying: “Oh, if they only knew how much better this could have been, had I done it a week ago.” Even though it’s a win, I still feel inside my soul that the victory merely covered up the failure. To comfort myself, I’d hit the drive through on the way home – while no one was looking or with me.

Today, I claim this condition as being healed. I no longer choose procrastination as my co-dependent trigger to use food to comfort either my anxiety or to celebrate my victories.

It is possible to overcome procrastination—with effort and determination I keep my attention on my intention and do what needs to be done, when it needs to be done and I celebrate this accomplishment with nourishing Spirit filled praise. – Rev. Jack

Occupy Wall Street? Let's Have a Tea Party and Think About It!

Occupying Wall Street? Let’s have a Tea Party and ponder this pickle that we’re in. My step-dad survived the great depression. He worked hard, tried to live right and always put family first. One of the best lessons he ever taught me was about money. I wanted to spend it – he wanted to save it. When it came to be getting something I wanted the answer was usually “no”. When it came to something I needed the answer was always “yes”. Each Friday when he got paid, he’d go to the bank and cash his check. He’d bring all the money home and then as he would say: “Time to fill my buckets”. His buckets were envelopes. He laid the cash out on the kitchen table. 10% would go into the “church” bucket. Then whatever bill was due, the cash went into that envelope for the full amount due. He’d then put $60.00 in an envelope for my mom as grocery money. He’d also tuck away $20.00 each week into a “secret” hiding place – which we’d know about, when the time came for us to know about it. Then once all the money was disbursed into the proper bucket, he’d go back to the bank and deposit the rest. He’d pay each bill in person – and with cash. He rarely wrote a check and never would touch a credit card. He was forced to retire after working 49 years and 9 months for one company. Nope, they wouldn’t give him a gold watch – after all, they said: “You didn’t work 50 years.” He did alright. His home was paid for, and he drove a brand new car every year. So did my mom. In his life time of “working for the man” as he would say; he only earned $ 449,000.00, or a little over $20,000 annually. But yet, he had over $100,000. In the bank when he retired. His definition of prosperity was: “To do whatever I want, whenever I want to.” And he did. He fished and hunted. Took vacations, volunteered, took my mom out to dinner two or three times a week. Owned every tool you could imagine in his work-shop and spent hours on end, making things, refinishing things or shooting the breeze with his buddies around the potbellied stove. He had a good life. He would say a prosperous life. “I never had a debt, that’s the secret to success – and always pay cash!” The day he died, my mom told me about his secret hiding place. When I looked behind the bread drawer I found a bag full of $20.00 bills. We took it to the bank and after they counted it the total was just a few dollars less than $8,000.00. The cost of his funeral was $7,900.00. It was paid for, in cash, just like he would have wanted. He’d be amused by the “Occupying Wall Street Protestors. “If you’d paid cash for things; only bought what you needed rather than what you wanted and stayed out of debt you wouldn’t be in this pickle now!” He’d be right. I guess I’ll give his “prosperity plan” a try – I certainly don’t have anything to lose.”

My Journey to Shanghai 谢谢

谢谢 “One word or phrase a day! I’m going to learn and use one word a day”. And Ms. Branice Mckenzie kept her word. Branice and the other 11 E Company members that joined me last week in Shanghai, no doubt came home with many new phrases to say; however, there was only one phase I came home with and it was xie, xie; (pronounced shay shay) or 谢谢.

To recap this trip in 600 or so words would not do it justice. All I can say it was a transformational lifetime experience on so many levels. And to be perfectly honest: I haven’t digested all that there is for me to absorb by this transformation journey. Yes, there are great stories to tell; photos to see; and gifts to exchange; but none of those elements really touch the depths of my journey to Shanghai. Perhaps, I haven’t absorbed all that there is for me to absorb because so much of my time was focused on “others”. This allowed me to be a witness to other’s transformation, but unaware of my own – in the moment. And I don’t regret that at all – in fact I would say 谢谢. However, I did come away with an awareness, that if I put as much attention on my life, as that I put on others – just think of what I could create. But then I realize that my life is about creating experiences of transformation of others. It’s what I do. And for that I say, 谢谢. Thank you for a life that allows me, gives me and I might say, insists that I live my vision. My journey to Shanghai began 14 months ago when I was introduced to Cheyenne Lu the playwright that wrote the play “At the Playground”. Cheyenne gave me a copy of her play, asked me to review it, direct it and perhaps take it back to her home town (Shanghai) someday. Her request would serve as a catalyst of how I structured my life over the past several months. Little did I realize that by fulfilling her dream, the experience of doing so would then become a metaphor how I will structure my life going forward. Every major turning point in my life has begun with the awareness – actually hearing myself saying out loud: “My life just changed”. It’s a spontaneous pronouncement. Not anticipated – it just arrives when it arrives. It happened when I said yes to moving to California; met my partner of 12 years; invited my godson into my home and life; and now once again after what I thought was going to be a casual meeting with the owner of the PG Theatre in Shanghai. My friends, I heard those words once again. “My life just changed” was ringing in my head as I stepped into the elevator following that meeting. In that meeting he asked me to fill his stage with American musicals and plays and to work with him to develop a musical depicting the diversity of Shanghai. “I want you” – he said. “You are a smart man. You understand that theatre comes from the heart.” I know my life just changed, and once again, all I can say is: 谢谢

My Divine Urge!

Divine Urge – The inner desire to express life!
Your Divine Urge is the desire to do and accomplish more, to be more completely happy, prosperous and well, is right. It is part of that eternally progressive spirit of unfoldment, and we should surrender toe entire situation to the working of Intelligence, with the conviction that Intelligence will use us as a perfect channel.
--Ernest Holmes

To quote a dear friend: “This is the busiest time of my life!" and to add my own two bits; “And I couldn’t be more pleased.” I have been guided to know and have identified my purpose: “I am called to preach, teach and write”. By honoring that calling I am honoring the Divine Urge within me. I have reached a plateau where I’ve integrated all that I love to do, into a fully balanced and satisfying life. Now, (quoting that same dear friend) I must keep my attention on my intention to live my calling. Doing so will create the opportunity to say yes to some things; to say not right now, to other things and to say no, to all the rest.

Each day I awaken and meditate; for me it’s a time for prayerful discernment. I ask Spirit to guide me to see what it is that I am to do that day, to keep my attention on my Intention - my calling. Sometimes my ego doubts the request of Spirit and I end up doing “what I what to do” as opposed to what Spirit has suggested. Frequently that leads to a day of ciaos, confusion, and distraction. Usually when I’m standing in the middle of the muck, I have the epiphany to return to what Spirit has guided me to do that day – and then I immediately do it. Doing so tends to bring about order to the most chaotic day.

Recently, Spirit has been nagging me (okay that’s my word); Spirit has been “consistently suggesting” that I return to my work as a Spiritual Life Coach. And of course, I have been endeavoring to bargain with Spirit to put this off for a little while, after all – this is the busiest time of my life. I know it is needless to say, but I will say it: Spirit doesn’t bargain. This past weekend, not one, not two or three or even four people came to me; five people came to me to me and asked: “Rev. Jack – what would it take to work with you on a one to one basis? There’s this one area of my life that needs a Spiritual nudge and I get that it’s you that can assist me in getting unstuck.”

Sunday afternoon, as I drove back to Tracy from Oakland, I kept hearing Spirit whisper “make yourself available - now”. I heard my ego’s voice saying: “Really? Now?” As both Spirit and ego chatted, I reflected that in the past two years, Spirit has really been persistent about this whole “now” thing. I also remembered that whenever I listened to Spirit and honored the “now” amazing results manifested. So all there is to do is to say Yes.

I am pleased to announce that I am now accepting appointments for individuals and couples to meet with me as their Spiritual Life Coach.

What Is A Spiritual Life Coach?

Spiritual Life Coaching is a profession that is profoundly different from consulting, mentoring, advice, therapy, or counseling, but yet it contains elements of each and every one of those disciplines. As your Spiritual Life Coach I engage a process that addresses specific personal projects, business successes, general conditions and transitions in your personal life, relationships or profession by examining “what is”, discovering what your obstacles or challenges to what “might be”, and to assist you in choosing a course of action to that will give you the opportunity to experience all that your life can be. To live the life that you have been “called” to live to fulfill the Divine Urge within you.

How Does Spiritual Life Coaching Work?

The Life Coaching Format:

• Complimentary 30-minute Coaching Consultation
• 60 to 90 minute "Value Sorter© Exercise " first session
• One 30 to 90 minute phone call per week (session length depends on coaching objectives) for a minimum of eight weeks.
• Unlimited Email support
• Occasional brief check-in calls

Spiritual Life Coaching is a mutually agreed upon covenant between coach and client where the coaching relationship continually gives all the power back to you, the client. I believe that you know the answers to every question or challenge you may have in your life, even if those answers appear to be obscured, concealed or hidden inside. Each session and/or correspondence is sacred and held in the confidence of the Minister to congregant oath of confidentiality.

My Role:

My expertise is in knowing that Spirit will guide me to ask the right questions and to utilize the right tools and techniques to empower you to find those answers within yourself.

Your Role:

You are the only expert in your entire life who truly knows who you are, what you need and what it is that you’ve been “called” to do in your life. You are the only expert who can recognize what is absolutely best for you and to discern when Spirit is speaking directly to you.

As a Spiritual Life Coach, I guide you through the process known as personal transformation. We will utilize various techniques such as visioning, journaling, and prayerful discernment. As your coach, I am here to assist you in the discovery of knowing your unique calling.

Every day we make choices to do or not do many things. These choices may range from profound to trivial and each one has an effect that makes our lives more fulfilling or less fulfilling, more balanced or less balanced, that makes our process of living more effective or less effective.

It is my intention that by working with me as your Spiritual Life Coaching you will learn how to make choices that create an effective, balanced and fulfilling life. I will assist you in connecting your head and your heart in a way that will transform your passion and your dreams into the experience known as your life.

The work that we will do together will transcend all areas of your life (Mind/Body, Career, Finances, Family, Significant Relationships, Spirituality and Community).

However special attention may focus on your intentions surrounding:

• Relationships and Intimacy
• Stress Management and Life Balance
• Spiritual Calling
• Personal Growth
• Entrepreneurial and Small Business Development
• Career Planning and Development
• Motivation and Time Management
• Creativity for Artists, Writers, Musicians and Performers http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
• Finances and Budgeting
• Health, Aging, Lifestyle and Self-Care
• Family and Parenting
• And much more

So I invited you to take a moment and reflect and ask yourself: Is working with a Spiritual Life Coach, the right thing for me to do? Then ask: Is working with Rev. Jack as my Spiritual Life Coach, the right thing to do? If yes to both is your answer, then I invite you to contact me for your complimentary consultation to find out what Spiritual life coaching can do for you. This one click can change your life forever. Click here to visit my website at www.revjackrelliott.org.

"Be Quiet" - Whispered Spirit

I woke up today with Spirit whispering to me – “Be quiet.”

Not in a loud authoritative voice, but a gentle voice – like that of a grandparent comforting a fearful child. As I lay in my bed, my mind started to race with thoughts of “what does it mean?” “I don’t have time; I have too much to do….”

“Be quiet.” whispered to me once again.

Instinctively I reached over and shut off the TV and listened. At first I heard the typical sounds that resonated throughout the house. Furnace running, pipes expanding and contracting, and the refrigerator’s motor churning away.

“Be quiet.”

Now, I heard my mind racing with thoughts once again. But this time I was able to observe my mind chatter…I could witness that all of my chatter was “fear based”. Every thought was a thought depicting my potential failure to deliver on some task or expectation - if I didn’t get up immediately.

“Wow! How could I awaken with such anxiety?” I pondered.

“Be quiet”.

I took a deep breath and exhaled and with my exhale I realized that each morning I awake with the perception – that my energy is already zapped. I’m already late, I’ll never catch up, they’re going to be pissed, and I’ve got to get going…”

Then I heard spirit say: “When was the last time you awaken with joy?”

I felt a tear rolling down the side of my face – “I don’t know.”

“Now you know. We’ve got work to do” Spirit whispered.

I listened for a few minutes and started to hear the birds chirping outside my window, and the rain gently falling on the patio stones. I instinctively reached for “I Am The Word” a channel work by Paul Selig that was on the bookcase near my bed. As I picked it up, it opened to page 225. It was the beginning of a new chapter titled: “I Am My Knowing”.

“I am my knowing” …we want you to repeat this as often as you can. Once you are in your knowing, you begin to accomplish things that you could not have otherwise, because understand that the level of fear that precludes you from your knowing takes up most of your energy.”

I placed the book on my chest and repeated “I am my knowing” as often as I could for about a minute. Now my only “mind chatter” seemed to be: “What is it that I need to know?”

As I picked the book up once again, the pages fell open to where I had stopped reading yesterday on page 159.

"I am willing now to stand firm in my willingness to see that which I need to clear once and for all to bring me into alignment with my own Christed Self. (What I would call my “Higher Spirit”). I am willing to become aware of those behaviors and those patterns, those belief systems, those boulders of pain that stand in the way of my achievement and my design as a Christed Being come into form. I affirm now that I am being supported in the release in perfect ways by the energies, the powers, the guides, and the teachers who are working on this passage in Christed Self awareness and achievement. And I do this now with joy and with willingness. I am Word through the intention. Word I am Word."

My friends, I know it’s time for a cleansing in my house. It’s time to refocus, refresh, let go, and move into my higher Knowing. If it’s true for me, then it’s also true for you. I know that I am being called into a higher frequency than I’ve ever known before and I am willing. I know and accept that the “how to” and the “when to” will be revealed in perfect order. For now, my priorities for today are to listen, see, cleanse, forgive, release, and to be in gratitude for taking the time to “be quiet” and to listen so that I may receive the gift of a deeper knowing. As so it is – Rev. Jack

Do Not Miss What You Are Called To Learn

Spirit is Substance and Substance is supply.

Today’s message is for those of us coping with a new economic reality. Maybe you’ve lost a home, a car or even a job. The survivor aspect of our ego may want to be angry, hurt, react inappropriately or label ourselves as having failed.

If you remember; each word we speak – is a prayer – is an affirmation – is indeed The Word that we proclaim as our Truth. Therefore, when I speak of lack, then the Universe has no choice but to show me evidence of my perception of lack.

So I want you to immediately STOP! And make another choice. I want you to remember what we’ve been taught in our Science of Mind and Spirit studies. We were taught to know God is Spirit. Spirit is Substance and Substance is supply. So regardless of the circumstance that we may see before us; we are surrounded by abundance – abundance that will sustain us.

Ernest Holmes states to remember this is essential to a experiencing an abundant life. “It is a right that we should be successful, for otherwise the Spirit is not expressed.”

I was asked once; “how do you define prosperity?” My answer almost flowed from me before I could intellectually form my thoughts. “For me, prosperity is the availability of resources to do whatever I want – whenever I want.” As a more mature practitioner, I come to know that in Truth, I have the availability of resources to do whatever I’m Divinely called to do. If I am truly doing what I’m called to do – my universe is full of abundant supply.

Paul Selig’s channel work "I am the Word" teaches us:

“…God does not decide one day that Frank is going to be a missionary any more than he decides that Sheila is going to be a temporary worker in an office. That’s not something that is decided on a higher level. However, you each have journeys and you are part of navigation of them from birth because you are always creating. So the reason that you took the job in the temporary agency that placed you in the office may be to teach you a skill that you will use years later when you are doing something quite different.”

So consider this: the fact that you were laid off from what you believed to be the perfect job and forced to go to work in the factory to feed your children – may not be something that happened to you because you failed or was the victim of circumstance.

It may have happened to you because Divinely you are to destine meet a co-worker in the factory. A co-worker, who may, at a later time in your life, becomes your spouse, mentor or catalyst for being in service to a divinely inspired calling.
Don’t overthink your current circumstances. Instead – ask for insight, guidance to know all that you’re called to know. If you focus solely on the circumstance of your current situation, you may miss what it is that you are to learn; to experience; or to have. You are the Word, and your are Loved! - Rev. Jack

Seasons of Love

“Just what message are you trying to provoke or promulgate by doing a show with drag queens, HIV and AIDS?” The question stunned me a bit when the reporter asked it yesterday during a telephone interview surrounding the opening of Jonathan Larsen’s Rock Musical RENT. My silence – really my need to take a breath before I responded – gave her the opening to ask a follow up: “Is this really the type of Theatre you think the Tracy audience wants to see?” My response flew out of my mouth before I had a chance to snatch it back. “Theatre isn’t about what the audience wants to see – sometimes theatre is what they need to see. Theatre is our history. It reminds us of times, choices, and attitudes we held that define who we are today. Yes, I’m guilty of endeavoring to provoke thought, however it’s not my intention to promulgate any particular point of view. That’s up to the audience to discern for themselves what they want to take away from their experience of seeing RENT. My job as the producer is to give them that opportunity.” I went on to tell her: “RENT is a story about the truth about Love. Love isn’t perfect. Love is and isn’t about the fireworks. Love and RENT is about knowing when to fight and knowing when to surrender with dignity. RENT is about the metaphorical “Seasons of Love”. Season being a period of time when a group of people came together to witness and experience the truth about love. A “season” during which, each person realizes that they are living in a significant moment in time that will forever leave an impression on their hearts and minds. And when that story is performed before an audience – that audience will be forever changed as well. – That’s why I choose to do this show. I lived during that period of time. I had such a circle of friends – now I am the only one left to tell their story. To honor them, to give voice to how passionately they lived, to how deeply they loved and to witness the manifestations of their dreams realized on their behalf. What a gift they gave me. This is why I’m doing this show – for them. For Steven, and for Gary, Glenn, Bob, Ray, Tom, Gene, Michael, Patrick, and Duane. All my friends from a wonder season of love. - I'm doing it for them. - Jack www.atthegrand.org